Today was a very special day.
Granny is rocking again and I am reminded of the ways in which the lenses through which we see ourselves, our lives, and the world get layered with the grime of our conditioning. So much so that we lose our sense of choice, sense of direction, and sense of our higher Selves.
While I don’t know the actual history of this clock, I do know MY story.
Visiting my Slovenian grandparents in Ohio was always filled with some of my favorite things. Accordion music, folk dancing, traditional food, Slivovic and homemade wine, grandma’s canned Royal Anne cherries, and lots of “visiting”.
Visiting was an event in my family and, as a kid, I didn’t really love it, Visiting meant hopping in the car to go spend the afternoon at an elderly relative’s house. Every day, a different house. The adults would gather for snacks, wine (always wine), conversation, and sometimes music. After answering all of the obligatory questions kids get asked, my brother and I (the only kids) would have to find creative ways to quietly pass the time.
There was one visit, however, I always looked forward to making.
My grandparents neighbor was a much older woman named Milka. She had been their neighbor from the time my mom was a child. We called her Tete (teh-tee), which is a derivation of “aunt” in Slovenian. While I had many actual “Tetes”, they were always referred to as “Aunt” or “Auntie”. Curiously, this traditional term was reserved only for Milka.
A sweet 1950’s clock sat on Tete’s mantle.
It was in the shape of a house with the face of the clock on one end and a picture window on the other. Behind the picture window was an old woman, grey hair pulled back in a bun, rocking rhythmically in her rocking chair. This precious clock was one of my favorite things about going to see her. After Tete died I was asked if there was anything of hers I would like to have. I didn’t have to think for a second, I asked if I could have her clock. I was so grateful and touched to be gifted such a treasure.
Sadly, like Tete reaching the end of her long life, granny had also stopped rocking. An effort to get her repaired led to disappointing news that she was unrepairable. I accepted “no” for an answer and put her on a shelf where she sat quietly reminding me of pleasant childhood memories.
I’m fascinated by the idea that my ancestors are still in the spirit realm supporting me in ways I don’t know or see.
As the new science of epigenetics tells us, the emotional history of our ancestors is stored in our DNA, the good and the bad. On my ever evolving journey through life I recently began doing some ancestral healing work with Darla Antione. With her help, I have been healing the past of my lineages in an effort to be more informed and free in my present. As part of that process I’ve been connecting more with physical objects from my family.
One day granny caught my attention and I became more aware of her sitting so still. I picked her up, held her in my hands, and decided to try getting her repaired one more time. This time, I called in my ancestors for some help. Much to my unexpected joy, a different repair shop had more promising news, saying they would do what they could to get her rocking and keeping time again.
Today I got the call that she was ready!
Granny was rocking and keeping time.
I couldn’t hardly believe it. The repairman said the motor was all gunked up and needed to be cleaned. That was it. No broken or worn out parts, just grime, layered over countless decades. That’s all it took to get her running again. I was stunned and elated – and I was angry.
As I got back in my car I was overcome with tears. I felt a heaviness in my heart for the years that had passed with her being silenced by someone else’s lack of motivation to get her running again. But was also filled with such gratitude for this present moment. I felt held and supported. It felt like a gift from the other side for the work I’ve been doing to clean my own life’s “motor” and remove the layers of grimey conditioning carried over from the generations before me. For reconnecting with my ancestors, sending healing love and light back through the ages of our lineages.
I was flooded with memories of our visits with Tete and transported back to her tiny white house on E. 36th St in Lorain.
The way she toddled to the side door to greet us, because her side door was a direct bee line from my grandma’s side door. The giant gap toothed smile on her face when we came in to stay. The smocks and house dresses she always wore. The big hugs she gave pressing us against the softness of her plump belly. The fluttering and chattering of her parakeets as they flew freely around the house. The shot of blackberry brandy we would all be served in lovely small glasses, no matter what our age. The chocolate covered cherries or cookies she always had ready to share. The thick Serbo-Croatian accent in her speech which also gave rise the most endearing idioms. And the beloved clock on her mantle, each of us always commenting that granny was still rocking.
As I place the clock prominently now in my living room to be admired and adored, I feel a lightness in my soul. I feel my ancestors smiling and Tete overjoyed that granny is rocking once more, living fully in the light of her purpose.
I am reminded of how the years can go by as we accumulate grime on the lenses of our lives, distorting our perceptions, impacting our motivations and choices, weighing us down or stopping us completely. Until one day, we decide we are tired of feeling sluggish or burdened and that we want to rock again. We roll up our sleeves, summon the right support, and we begin to strip away the layers of grime so we can rock again, freely and purposefully as our soul intended. We decide not to take “No” for an answer.
I looked up the meaning of the name Milka today, and I’m not surprised that it means “Queen”.
This precious clock brought me to tears – tears of grief and of joy. My story of it is rich with childhood memories, family, traditions, heritage, and ancestors.
I am overwhelmed with gratitude for this gift of insight, and for the ever unfolding wisdom from my ancestral Queens as I gently rock my way into the next chapter of life.
How is the grime of conditioning distorting your view of yourself and the world around you?
How could you start to clear away the dirt so you see more clearly and move with greater intention?
With Love & Light,